Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Today's PStUM: Cats

I often (by which I mean never) get the question, “do you like pets?” well, that’s a loaded fucking question. I have had pets my whole life; several loving dogs who have been my best friends in the damned world. To me, that’s what a pet is- a friend, a loyal companion. I do not count cats among the ranks of pets, rather, they are more akin to a style of furniture that respirates and moves a little bit. Oh, and also shits in your house. Cats are not really all that much different from groundhogs that live near a camping ground- they have abetted their fear and aggression toward man enough to secure a somewhat stable living environment free of predation and occasionally scraps of food. That’s it. No, your cat is not special because you trained it to poop in the toilet. When it comes down to it, your cat will not save you from a fire, fight off intruders, or express any interest in your persistence as a living being so long as you feed it. Cats are nothing more than feral animals too lazy to act on their instincts.

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