Sunday, September 30, 2012

Today's PStUM: Pumpkins

Now that it is fall, every genteel suburban Romney voter has placed a small bale of hay on their porch alongside the obligatory pumpkin. Who the fuck decided that pumpkins were a symbol of Autumn? It's not like people say, "hey wow we best go down to the farmer's market and stock up, it's pumpkin harvest time." They serve as little function as a food item can and still be used. You know that awesome taste of pumpkin pie? That's cinnamon and nutmeg. Pumpkin itself has no flavor whatsoever, so that "pumpkin spice" bullshit you put in your coffee is a total farce. I bet in like 1946 or something some brilliant capitalist with an inherited pumpkin farm concocted all this shit up. "Hey Sherm, I'll just start telling people they are an arbitrary symbol of Autumn, going off the whole Jack-o-Lantern thing. yeah, they don't taste like anything or have any real culinary value, but they look pretty on your porch I guess." Pumpkins mean nothing, they have no use for anyone.

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