Monday, September 24, 2012

Today's PStUM: The flag of Provo, Utah

This is not a fucking joke. There is a major American city with this flag.

For those of you who don't know, Provo, Utah is a mid-sized city that A. is home to Brigham Young University, a hotbed of everything that is awful about Mormons (men need a permit to grow a beard), and B. is apparently the most conservative city in the United States. Also, it's in Utah. So from the start, ya haven't got much to work with here. I would assume that Provoans would rather brand their city with a pennant that reads "Know your place" with like some guns and magic underwear and shit in the background. Instead, the wraparound sunglasses and north face jacket-wearing Gay Marriage opponents of the region took a lesson from the OTC vitamin school of graphic design and created this Centrum Silver-esque monstrosity. Honestly, I don't even know where to start with this piece of trash. See, there's a right way to make a city/ municipal flag- check out Pittsburgh, New York, Boston and Columbus. These city flags are simple, elegant, and traditional. They reflect their pride and regional history using simple fields of color and centrally located badges or coats of arms. The Provo flag shows not only an absolute lack of history, but a rejection of it. It suggests a city void of identity and self-awareness. It is a place that only exists in the modern era, with miles of McMansion sprawl, SUV's, venture capitalists, and a deep hatred of the estate tax. On a broader level, it suggests to me the absolute desolation of the inter-mountain west. There is no culture except what what is passed through focus groups, there are no restaurants but chains, there are no neighborhoods but strip malls and recent developments. Provo, Utah is a sad, ugly, and revoltingly modern place. I will never live anywhere like it.


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